For I think a lot.

I think a lot. I do think a lot. One could say that it is good, for then I could find answers to my questions. It does help. But it does not change the fact that sometimes the answers we get are not the answers we want to find. And in this particular case I am fighting against myself – a painful fight. For what my brain says is not what my heart says. I didn’t even had a heart by the time I met him. For since the first time I hold him I knew he was perfect – the perfect smile, the perfect hug, the perfect voice, the perfect… being. Ever since I look for him, but it is hard to find him and so was it to convince myself that he was the one. But… am I so godamn right? How could he possibly be the one for me if I am not the one for him?
I do think a lot. Specially about me.  I think a lot about me. If you know me, you also know that I am food for thought. Even though, there are questions I still can’t answer. Am I hurting myself on purpose? Am I wrong thinking he is the one? Am I wrong trying to convince myself things are going to work out just fine? I think a lot. I do. But I still don’t know the freaking answer…

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